As I pack, a poem

Packing, I found my journal from late March, when I was discerning and decided to do the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Sitka. I had written a poem that resonates with me now:

The Doorway

I stand in a doorway
looking out,
hands gripping the frame.
On each side
I cling.

A wind gusts,
clearing the fog
for a moment.

I lean into the wind
and press into a net.
I must break through-

break through my self
to walk out
into love.

An inaugural poem

So. I hope you will forgive my self-indulgence. I am posting some of my own poetry on this blog and happily submitting them to your scrutiny. My motivation to write thrives on positive feedback, and the only way I improve is from constructive criticism. From my drive up to the midwest:

Meditation On A Horse By The Freeway

Sigh.

Sometimes I worry

for cassette tapes. Just ten years old

and already they're

layering a cemetery

in a box in my

walk in closet--Amy Grant (in

leopard jacket with shoulder pads)

dancing on the grave

of her 90's hits cassette tape.

But,

Now I see a horse:

White against yellow-green, grazing

beside a Texas

freeway and I cease to worry.

Dingy, but tethered,

it's well taken care even as we

zoom past in its tech-

nological grandchildren.

I bet

Someone in Texas

will be listening to Amy

Grant's shoulder-padded tunes long past

the carving of my

tombstone. At which point, I will lay

all my techno-

logical worries to rest.

-Eileen

The Simple Path

Found this poem/prayer on a piece of paper in my room. If anyone knows who to attribute this to, please comment! Maybe posting it here will help encourage us all to keep digging in the garden that bears these fruits. And hey! it says its simple...

The Simple Path.

The fruit of silence is

prayer.

The fruit of prayer is

faith.

The fruit of faith is

love.

The fruit of love is

service.

The fruit of service is

peace.

Kentucky Lake, here I come!

Hey friends, I'll be a bit out of touch for the next two weeks, as I'm heading to the midwest to visit family. Hightlights include Kokomo, Indiana, Anne Sisk's twelfth birthday party, and a week lounging at Kentucky Lake for a sunscreen lathered family reunion. I'll be back July 28th or so, and will then head to Seattle (to visit with my brother and my friend Diana, aka "the Wench") and then on August 4th, I'll board a train to Portland for Jesuit Volunteer Corps Northwest orientation. :)

My first AA meeting.

Hi, my name is Eileen and I am....
....
... not an alcoholic.
And yet I went to an AA meeting.
"Why?" you ask.

Well, remember the guitar? (Which has now been dubbed the guitar formerly known as midge, F-KAM. Kammie for short.) The fantastic women who took me to go buy it also inquired about what I was going to be doing next year. Upon hearing that I would be working as a case manager with youth in trouble with the law for DUIs and other substance abuse related misdemeanors, she enthusiastically recommended that I attend an open AA meeting.

I got two things out of the experience.
1. I was so nervous to actually go that I dragged along my friend Rathi with me (thanks Rathi!). I have so much respect for people who actually make it through the door, especially when they go for reasons other than simply to learn what the program is about. That said, I found the meeting and the people themselves were welcoming, much to my relief.
2. Many of the stories I heard sounded like these particular people who identify themselves as alcoholics didn't think they needed help until they hit rock bottom. In other words, I'm going to have to be very thoughtful when I set my goals for my work next year. I don't think I will be rewarded if I'm waiting for people to look me in the eye and say, Oh Eileen, thank you so much for helping me!
... here comes a challenge...

My new best friend.

Hello friends!

I'm at home in Houston, listening to the Wall-E soundtrack and the rumbles of the incredible thunderstorm outside. The lights are off and every few minutes the room lights up with a flash of lightning.
I think it's time to introduce all of you to my new best friend, my new Martin traveling guitar. If you plug your ears during the b to f# progression in the verses of Thy Word by Amy Grant, she sounds pretty good :) Above is an artistic rendering by Anne Sisk.
But I should tell you all about how we met. We were at a crazy Austin party, then locked eyes across the crowded room... oh wait- no, wrong story. Let's see. How did it really happen... I had been mourning the loss of singing with the amazing catholicgroove choir every sunday night, and as everyone in the group encouraged me to keep groovin' my way to Alaska, I was feeling a little wimpy as just two vibrating vocal chords and a diaphragm. I decided I should pick up the guitar again, and since I was in the music mecca, Austin, I should probably get one there. And boy was I on to something. I mentioned it to my friend Mark, and he was like, "Are you kidding? My co-workers are going guitar shopping today! You can go along with them." They whisk me off to an awesome pawn shop that specializes in guitars. The shop clerk was awesome, showing some good beginning guitars, when this cute little guitar caught my eye. It was love at first squeal: a Martin traveling guitar at half of the retail price, and the clerk dude invited us out to see him perform at Antone's that evening, which we decided we should definitely go to after stopping by a salad drive-through, with "green goddess" salad dressing, new guitar in hand. Sitting at Antone's, listening to singer songwriters crooning with all their talented might, I felt that I had the full Austin experience. Eileen is happy. :)
One more Austin story: Mark and I had dinner at the original Whole Foods (it reminded me of the ritzy Safeway near Stanford. Only bigger.) Departing, I get a call from Rathi, but while I'm chatting with her at an intersection, a homeless woman working the intersection starts shaking her fist at me and yelling for me to get off the phone. It seems that in Austin, everyone is working for the world to be a better place.